See Ya, Chavez!

(Don’t let the door hit you in the backside on the way out…)

By R.J. Godlewski

©2007, All Rights Reserved

 

 

“He appears to be a Worthy but is immoral.

“He seems warm and conscientious but is a thief.

“He appears perceptive and sharp but lacks such talent.

“He appears profound but lacks all sincerity.

“He appears adept at planning but is indecisive.

“He appears to be decisive and daring but is incapable.

“He appears guileless but is not trustworthy.”

T’ai Kung

 

 

 

            Shish. That strange sound that you hear is the House of Chavez slowly collapsing into the Caribbean tide as all sandcastles are wont to do. The sound of democracy’s waves crashing upon the breakwater of petty machismo and oscillating towards the shores of tyranny. Once you tune your ears to the sound, it becomes an unmistakable roar, but all dictators are a bit paranoid and hypocritical at heart and they are often the only ones who cannot detect the disturbance.

            The grand social experiment of the Overrated Clown from South America is in its finals moments and whether he follows Hitler into the bunker or Hussein into the rat hole remains to be seen; his epitaph will likely be co-produced by his groupie, Danny Glover, complete with a Harry Belafonte soundtrack. Like a delusional DUI on the highway towards success, Hugo Chavez has ignored the abrupt turn of history and has missed the warning signs emplaced by the likes of Marx, Lenin, and Stalin – among others. Power and popularity have drugged Chavez to the point where all that remains is a warped sense of conspiracy intended to dismiss the impending collision of a ship that didn’t pass safely in the night.

            Fortunately, the people of Venezuela are a bright bunch; they know a shipwreck when they see it and most never embarked upon the voyage to begin with. They donned their life vests whiles others slept, woke their wives and children while the privileged danced the night away, and even tried to encourage the steerage class to come up for air. While Captain Chavez’ crew managed to glance around the iceberg of capitalism, the passengers fully understood what lay in their path.

            It’s not easy to witness such a disaster, particularly when it is caused by management misconduct, but the listing of S.S. (“Social State”) Venezuela will have profound implications for all others in the region. The people of that proud nation can see what works and what doesn’t. They see the debris field of better managed social states as well as the beacon of the world – the United States – and conclude that Captain Chavez is merely blinded by Bligh-like power. They can also see the forfeiture of straight communism by once proud adherents of the faith – China and Vietnam. If these political powerhouses changed course to avoid disaster, then so too must their own nation.

            It would be fun to watch Herr Chavez collapse with deafening thunder, but the fact remains that it is the passengers who usually are the ones that get sucked down into the vortex. This makes me sad; I have more than a few fans down in Venezuela and I would like to see them prosper if not excel. I would like to send out my own lifeboats to aid them in their time of need, but I predict that Chavez’ Crew would selfishly steal any assistance directed towards their charges. However, there are some things that can be done to aid those most in need.

            First, there is the need for witnesses – as befitting any crime scene. In this regard we can flood the area with cameras and journalists. The Crew is finite and cannot be in all places at all times. Secondly, we can distribute survival instructions to the Venezuelan people. Like I said, they’re a special breed and know fact from fiction, so our work is simple. We only need to get the information to them; they’ll know what to do with it once it is within their hands.

            The international community can also continue to aid the Venezuelans. After all, most of us have survived a wreck or two and therefore know what to do in a crisis situation. We can hand out navigation charts, calculate stability tables, and, should the need be as obvious as it appears, convict those indicted for wrongdoing. No disaster is ever without casualties, but the final responsibility must lay with those in command – Macho Chavez and his twerp Crew. They are the ones who ignored civility for profit, common sense for power, and history for popularity. Let’s just hope for their sake there is no mutiny.

            Sitting high and dry, if not overly comfortable myself, I thank God every day that I am secure with the knowledge that I reside within the United States of America – the proud beacon that has illuminated every nation on the planet at one time or another. True, there have been those who’ve ignored our light and, to be quite frank about it, they’ve more often than not crashed into some iceberg of their own. Regardless, it is because of this blessing that I am able to consider aid to the Venezuelans than worry about my own position. I hear your pleas brave Venezuelans and you can rest assured that I’ll do everything within my power to aid you. If there’s one thing that America understands, it’s how to get rid of petty tyrants. Freedom has eyes and ears everywhere.